BLARG!: Archive

Oct 14th

61 notes

Apr 25th

Apr 24th

81 notes

Apr 23rd

Apr 22nd

Vibe Magazine interviews Uncle Ruckus about...

Vibe: Your ideologies have caused a stir over the first two seasons of Boondocks. We need to understand you a little better.
Uncle Ruckus: First of all, I don't got no ideologies, All I got is the truth! And if your Black ass can't handle the truth then you're probably talkin' to the wrong man.
Vibe: Um... okay. What can we expect from the show this season?
Uncle Ruckus: I don't know if I'm supposed to be saying this but there's a certain filmmaker of a certain color who has certain shows on certain networks that's gonna catch hell. You're gonna see some shit you can't even imagine. But why in the hell did White folks who run that network let them niggas have another season? Aaron McGruder's the biggest coon-steppin' Negro in the world and the fact that they're paying him to put this bullshit on TV, glorifying all y'all Negrocities, is ridiculous.
Vibe: But how would you spread your hate without Aaron?
Uncle Ruckus: Spread hate?! You don't know the difference between hate and the truth.
Vibe: You must be livid over Barack Obama being elected president.
Uncle Ruckus: Livid?! First of all [the day Obama was elected] was the day White people made the biggest mistake of their lives... I ain't cry so much since finding out slavery wasn't legal no mo'.
Vibe: I assume you rep the GOP set. Correct?
Uncle Ruckus: Hell yeah, I rep the GOP set!
Vibe: You know y'all have been screwin' up, right?
Uncle Ruckus: Excuse me? Ain't no way for GOPs to fuck up. We fighting for the rights of good ole' fashion America. Y'all talkin' bout health care [laughs long]... ain't no health care as long as no Negro's in office. Y'all need to sit down somewhere, get y'all two or three buckets of chicken and have a good ole' party while it lasts 'cause it ain't gonna last long.
Vibe: Your last President George W. Bush-
Uncle Ruckus: George W. Bush, second greatest president ever known to mankind. Ronald Reagan was number one. The good things he did for this country cannot be compared to another president.
Vibe: What's up with this supposed skin condition of yours?
Uncle Ruckus: Re-vitiligo. You know how Michael Jackson just kept getting lighter and lighter? [That lucky bastard.] I'm just the opposite. I was born a White baby. I just kept getting darker and darker where as now people mistake me for a nigga. When anybody calls me a nigga, it's like a steak knife being shoved through the aorta of my heart.
Vibe: I guess you hated Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable and his lawyer wife Clair from The Cosby Show, huh?
Uncle Ruckus: I will admit one thing: I sure did enjoy his sweater. That was a good lookin' sweater on a colored man. But the rest was all bull. If he was really a colored doctor, he'da had a bone through his nose. [Laughs.] Ain't no Black woman been invented who can figure out how to read a law book. She might've had one of her White colleagues translate it real slow so she could understand.
Vibe: You're very firm in your stance against Black men touching White women. What's your take on the Tiger Woods situation?
Uncle Ruckus: Well I am glad to see that of all the women he cheated on his wife with, none of 'em was no colored woman. That also proves that no matter how good an athlete you are, if you part nigga, some White woman gonna chase you down and beat you over the head with one of their golf clubs.
Vibe: Is that so?
Uncle Ruckus: I'm gonna be honest with you right now. I know for a fact that the greatest joy any colored man could ever have is to wake up with a White woman. You can't deny it. Ask Kobe Bryant! I cannot be upset at any colored man wanting to touch a White woman. The White woman is just a thing of beauty - that long neck and them thin lips. They ain't got no big ole' butts stickin' out that you could put your Courvoisier on when you at the club. You touch a White woman's back and ya hand falls flat down to the floor. That's a beautiful thing.
Vibe: Totally disagree.
Uncle Ruckus: You ever smell [a White woman] up close? You know what they smell like to me? Like an angel just belched in my face.
Vibe: So who is your favorite White woman?
Uncle Ruckus: Sarah Palin. My God, she a brilliant woman, smart and beautiful. You tell me every time you see Sarah Palin on TV your pants don't get a little tighter around ya waist. She just so damn eloquent! I would like to steam up her glasses. I wanna go to her house and look over at Russia... arm and arm beside her, smelling angels burping in my face.
Vibe: You claim your parents were White but Blacks adopted you. So who put this racial hate in your heart?
Uncle Ruckus: I reckon the good lord Jesus himself. I mean if you look at a picture of Jesus Christ you see a beautiful White man, a strong White example of manhood. To be close to God you gotta get close to God. Everybody knows he's White. Ain't no mistake about that.
Vibe: I think this interview's done. I seriously need to find your adopted parents.
Uncle Ruckus: I am very happy that my momma and daddy found that poor little White boy on the doorstep and gave him a chance at life. I respect them for that. Of course I'm not gonna talk to 'em, but I respect 'em for that because I'm sure they don't understand what it's like to be me, a White man trapped inside a Black man's body. They have no idea how hard it is. Can you imagine what it would be like if you looked like a nigga? Oh, I'm sorry, you do look like a nigga. Well, now you know the horror of that.

Apr 22nd

27 notes

Apr 21st

my foot

is fucked up..no gym this week and it hurts right now..listen to your body im a living example..ps don’t smoke.

Apr 20th

Apr 13th

Apr 12th

Apr 10th

Apr 9th

Apr 6th

2,216 notes

Apr 6th

Apr 5th

“june 25 2009 was the worst day of my life..and everyday after that was...”

– my soul (via chocolatethunderfromdownunder) This is one of my close friends bday! Did something happen between you and some chick or is it because MJ died?? (via thehumblejedi) because of mj man..shit is unreal..fucked up my whole groove

Apr 5th